What kind of Coke?

I grew up in Arkansas, where carbonated beverages are called cokes, no matter what company has produced them or bottled. There are just cokes. Someone might ask you, "Hey, do you wanna coke?" After you confirm your thirst, they will kindly ask, "What kind?" To which you can reply Pepsi, 7up, Dr. Pepper, Squirt, or even, Coke. Any of these would be an acceptable response, because a coke is any kind of carbonated beverage.

Because of my natural inclination to not do what I'm told, at an early age, I started bucking the trend of generalizing all carbonated beverages under one brand name. I would proudly ask guests if they would like a "soda." And, then even prouderly explain what that even meant and also the ignorance of calling every soda by the name of one soda company.

I recently moved to Tulsa, where everyone drinks Pop. This is a little different than what my college friends from Michigan drank, Paap. Either way, while trying to adjust my vocabulary, I have realized that I still haven't kicked the habit of not wanting to do what I'm told. I find myself wanting to have to explain that I actually want a Pepsi after ordering a coke. Or, at least, ask someone for a soda, which is a little different than a Pop. Of course, in order to justify my mild civil disobedience, I've been reasoning myself an argument to defend myself after grabbing a 7up out of a cooler full on Sprite.

At this point, I have fully re-embraced the hasty generalization of blanket brand name assignment. The truth is, there are a lot of brand names that serve as the ambassador for the rest of their product families. I routinely blow my nose with a Kleenex, never with a tissue. I always use White Out to correct my poor penmanship, never correction fluid. When we moved, I had to uninstall and reinstall our washing machine. To do this, I used a pair of Channel-Locks, since I used to be an electrician, my channel locks are brand named Klein. I (or, more realistically, my wife) always use the dustbuster to clean up small messes, but never the "hand held vacuum." She also puts all the leftovers into Tupperware, even though it's a Rubber-Made, plastic, microwavable, plastic container for the kitchen.

So, if you're going to be a snob about ordering sodas instead of Cokes, so be it. You can do whatever you want. Just be sure that the next time you paper cut your finger, you reach for a box of adhesive bandages, and not, Band-Aids.

Two of Us

I put together a list of statistical categories comparing Lebron to Kobe for the ‘08-’09 season. This is totally biased, nonetheless all of this is true (as far as I can tell). I’ll list it all like this:

Category
Lebron: total; NBA rank
Kobe: total; NBA rank
Here we go.

Total Games
Lebron: 81
Kobe: 82

Lebron sat out the last game of the season, sacrificing his stats in order to rest for the playoffs.

Points Per Game
Lebron: 28.4; 2nd
Kobe: 26.8; 3rd

Dwayne Wade led the league with 30.2. Charles Barkley is probably real proud.

Assists
Lebron: 587; 8th
Kobe: 399; 24th

Hey, 24, that’s cute. It’s his number.

Assists Per Game
Lebron: 7.2; 9th
Kobe: 4.9; 29th

With Pau Gassol streaking to the basket every possession?

Blocks Per Game
Lebron: 1.15; 40th
Kobe: .45; 150th

Rebounds
Lebron: 7.6; 42nd
Kobe: 5.2; 92nd

Steals
Lebron: 1.69; 8th
Kobe: 1.46; 20th

Hey, that one is close. Let’s give Kobe some credit. Let’s see how often he was “Most Valuable” at anything other than scoring.

Double/Doubles (This is achieved by reaching double digits in two statistical categories in a single game)
Lebron: 29; tied for 14th
Kobe: 8; tied for 79th

Honestly, a player of this caliber can’t make ten assists or grab ten rebounds more often than that. This is border line absurd, mostly because of people talk about what a super awesome player he is. I did some more research and found that Lebron had 7 triple-doubles last year. Besides being one shy of Kobe’s total for double-doubles, it is half of Kobe’s career triple-double total of 14. Don't forget, Kobe has been in the league for 14 years. He did double his career average with 2 triple doubles this year, his first in three seasons. I guess he did have three this year if you count the game against the Pistons in January that he had 39 points, 10 rebounds, and 11 turnovers.