Big Time Rush

I was planning on getting through these explanations of the ESPN Radio Hosts Power Rankings a little quicker, and hopefully I'll be able to pick up the pace from here on out.  Next up is the Doug Gottlieb Show which, I have to admit, was a bit of a  surprise coming in at No. 2.  I mean, he's not even in the picture on the ESPN Radio homepage; but, the points don't lie (except that I just made the whole thing up), so here we are.

The Doug Gottlieb Show

Interestingness: 8

Reasonability: 8

Engagingness: 9

Hangability: 4

Humor: 4

Total: 33

Besides looking like one of the characters of Nickelodeon's "Big Time Rush", and Chad Kearby from Poplar Bluff, MO, he seems like a pretty nice guy.  I also like that his show is just his name, not unlike Bill Cosby or Dick Van Dyke.

Doug Gottlieb

Logan, from "Big Time Rush"

Chad Kearby, from Poplar Bluff, MO

Interestingness: 8

Though not quite as interesting as The Herd, Doug really does do a good job of taking an interesting perspective on topics.  He also has an ability to use personal stories in a way that is interesting, which is something I normally get tired of pretty fast.  I should have some example of his ability to be interesting, but I honestly haven't been listening to a whole lot of Sports Talk Radio lately, as interesting as the WNBA and the French Tour are.

Reasonability: 8

Even though I never have, and probably never will meet the guy, he seems to be that friend who has the ability to talk you out of doing stupid stuff.  Like if we were all hanging out at a a ballgame, and one of you got the idiot-fool idea to run out on the field and dodge security, he'd be the one to say, "Look dude, you don't really want to do that.  We already think you're a crazy guy, so you don't have to prove it to us by spending the night in jail.  And by the way, none of us have money to bail you out."  That kind of obvious levelheadedness is how he approaches sports talk radio.

Engagingness: 9

I don't really know what to say about this category, other than some people are just really good at talking about anything in a way that holds people's attention.  Some guys think they have that ability, and manage to ruin every rehearsal dinner their wives take them to.  But guys like Gottlieb really can make anything fascinating, and that's why he's a successful radio host.

Hangability: 4

Again, though I've never met him, he seems like he would be great to road trip with, or to get stuck in line with at the DMV.  I also feel like he would humor me when I tell long, anticlimactic, jokes and/or stories, which I do pretty regularly.  I'd also guess that he ends up at a lot of weddings of people that he only kind of knows, because as far as they're concerned, he's one of their best friends. All this hangability translates into believability on the radio, and contributes even further to his high score.

Humor: 4

Everyone on ESPN Radio is pretty hilarious.  Doug's humor is a little more subtle, which I love.  He also manages to keep from laughing at  his own jokes all the time (am I right?), which I also appreciate.  It's not very often that I actually laugh audibly when I'm by myself, but it's not uncommon for me to "laugh out loud" on my way home from work.  It's true that I'm not barreled over out of control, but the calmness and consistency of his humor easily renders a high score.

And that's how The Doug Gottlieb Show came in second.  After finishing this post, I realized how much I really do enjoy the show.  It's everything that sports talk radio should be, really.  I guess it's true that the numbers really don't lie.

One last thing, I'll probably take a one-post break from the ESPNRHPR's to offer my review of Christopher Nolan's newest release, "Inception"

How does it feel?

I'm going to try and explain my reasoning on the ESPN Radio Host Power Rankings.  I've already explained what all the different categories mean, and hopefully this will help the scoring make sense.  I figured I'd start with the winning show, "The Herd" hosted by Colin Cowherd.

The Herd with Colin Cowherd

Interestingness: 9

Reasonability: 8

Engagingness: 10

Hangability: 3

Humor: 4

Total: 34

When I first started listening to the Herd, I hated it, but I couldn't turn it off.  That pretty much sums up the reason for his high ranking.  It's not that I always agree with everything he's saying; but his show, more than any other, leaves me sitting in the driveway waiting for a commercial break.  Successful radio involves the listener, and that's what the Herd does.  You either love it or hate it, but you don't turn it off.

Interestingness: 9
Colin always finds something a little bit different than everybody else to talk about.  That's why he's interesting.  Case in point, a week before the Lebronapalooza, everybody was speculating where he would go, and quoting their anonymous sources etc, etc.  Colin took one sliver of that pie, and made an interesting social commentary.  He suggested that there are different kinds of "smart" (computer smart, business smart, sports smart), and that sometimes smart people make bad decisions.  But, dumb is just dumb.  Some people just don't get it and probably never will.  The New York Knicks, especially over the last decade, are a don't get it organization.  For that reason, they have no chance at landing Lebron.  That kind of niche interpretation is what makes the Herd especially interesting.

Reasonability: 8
He didn't score quite as high on this one, because part of his schtick is flipping the other side of the coin. But a lot of what Colin does is react to typical sportscaster fury.  Often, he takes a middle perspective between two extremes.  When it was recently reported that Tiger Woods would be paying 750 mily-on dollars to his estranged wife, Colin immediately dismissed the reports as absurd. Citing the experience of his own divorce and a general understanding of "how these things work," he laughed as he explained that there was no way that would happen.  It later came out that the report was wildly exaggerated, and Colin of course said I told you so.

Engagingness:  10
I think this is the only 10 in all the rankings.  It's also pretty much the most important category as far as radio is concerned.  All you have is your words, so it better be pretty engaging.  I don't know what else to say other than that some people just have the ability to be really fascinating when they talk.  Couple that with Colin's ability to pick captivating subject matter and you have full engagingness.  My thesaurus is starting to run dry, so I'll go ahead and move on.

Hangability: 3
This is Colin's lowest score, though he still managed a "Liked It" on the Netflix scale.  Since you've probably already noticed this is a Herdfest, I'll just go ahead and say that in a way, this contributes to the high scores in other categories.  I really don't think he would care (as if he would ever read this) that he didn't do as well in this category, because he's not trying to make friends, he's trying to get listeners.  Since arguing is like a sport to me, I'd probably like a road trip with Colin pretty well.  But he's never going to care what you think, so he had to score a little lower than everybody else.

Humor: 4
Though he'd probably give himself a 5 in this category, he's still a funny guy.  I have to think that ESPN deliberately considered humor when they were casting their hosts, because they're all pretty hilarious.  Whatever Colin is talking about, there's almost always a joke at the end; and, he's especially funny when he tries to sing.  He also manages to use his humor in disagreement, which can be an effective way of introducing the discord discussion.  Even if he's being excessively harsh, I still think he's funny enough to neutralize the hostility.

I know that a lot of people don't like "the Herd", and a lot more people disagree with a lot of what Colin says.  But hardly anyone will change the channel once they're listening.  And that is why "The Herd" with Colin Cowherd ranks No. 1 in the ESPN Power Rankings.  And wherever you may be, thanks for making this blog a part of your day.